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#481
Dave276

Dave276
  • Club Member
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  • Essex (1st owner PB Mk2)
  • David (Dave)
  • My Focus RS
  • Owns:Mk2 RS (C307)
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#482
R5 5KOT

R5 5KOT
  • Forum User
  • 20160 posts
  • SCOTLAND
  • SCOTT
  • Owns:BLACK PEARL

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#483
graeme

graeme
  • Club Member
  • 3468 posts
  • romford
  • Graeme
Heard the one about Brexit
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#484
legs

legs
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  • 3460 posts
  • Lothians
  • Davie

Heard the one about Brexit

Hope its not a long joke
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#485
graeme

graeme
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  • 3468 posts
  • romford
  • Graeme

Hope its not a long joke

Still ongoing, itll be the longest joke in history by the time its over .

#486
alienp1mp

alienp1mp
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  • 4756 posts
CAN ADMINS DO A BETTER JOB OF MONITORING WHO IS ALLOWED ON HERE PLEASE?!

WE HAVE A NEW MEMBER, A WOMAN, SHE'S BEEN PRIVATELY MESSAGING PEOPLE, SENDING THEM NAKED PICTURES OF HERSELF IN NASTY POSES ALONG WITH CLOSE UPS OF HER UNMENTIONABLES.

SHE IS OFFERING AN IPHONE XS IN EXCHANGE FOR SEXUAL FAVORS.

I AM ESPECIALLY BOTHERED BECAUSE IT TURNED OUT TO BE AN IPHONE 7 AND OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH IT. IT'S SLOW AND THE CAPS LOCK IS STUCK ON.😥😥😪

#487
basobomber

basobomber
  • Forum User
  • 3249 posts
  • essex
  • keith
Dear Technical Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. The new program also began making unexpected changes to the accounting modules.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1.



Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Ive tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate



Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

Please enter the command: C:/ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and try to download Tears 6.2 and dont forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.

Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources).

Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.



In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Food 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,
Tech Support
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#488
malkummog

malkummog
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  • 595 posts
  • Northumberland
  • mal
I notice a lack of new content in this section so here is a small selection from the Edinburgh Festival

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#489
old bloke

old bloke
  • Forum User
  • 71 posts
  • Cheshire green belt
  • phillip

What is the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi ?

 

The folks in Dubai DON'T like the Flintstones

 

and the folks in ABU DHAAABBIIIIIIII DOOOOOOOOOOO. 



#490
Martin Pedersen

Martin Pedersen
  • Forum User
  • 13 posts
  • Denmark
  • Martin
  • Owns:Focus RS MK3
A small helicopter crashed on a semetary yesterday, everyone died, untill now they have found 200 bodies...
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#491
UK jon

UK jon
  • Club Member
  • 1800 posts
  • Jonathan
  • Owns:m380 Plus+
A simple joke:

Why are the Chinese no good at cricket 🏏?

Cos they ate all the 🦇


Ill get my coat🙄

Regards

#492
JohnD

JohnD
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  • 1731 posts
  • Romford
  • John

Went to the locksmith to get a spare door key cut but they were closed! - I thought they would be on the list of key workers?

 

JohnD


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#493
Mad Paddy

Mad Paddy
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  • 1221 posts
  • Galway
  • Phil
  • Owns:FW focus RS
Ha

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#494
RSROG008

RSROG008
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  • 12938 posts
  • West country
  • Roger

Why do dogs chase after balls?

This a question not a joke I just didn't know where to put it  :nice:






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